How do you handle a stalker here?

You're also being unfair yourself. 

This person was helpful at first, with my profile, and I did make some of the changes they suggested, as was noted in later posts.  However, it is when the person started attacking me personally, started misrepresenting in a post that my standing on tests taken here were lower than they were (stated my English test here was in the mid-range when in fact I was in the upper 20% and then in the upper 10%) and started "suggesting" ways I could perform my craft that didn't involve oDesk, is when I became "un-light" (in reference to your using the term "lighten up"). 

This person also had looked at my profile and portfolio and then said something to the effect that I was "stuck in Huachuca" even though I don't live at or near "Huachuca" and have gone on assignments as a freelancer to other states, some of which have already been published, going further to suggest I work elsewhere, rather than here.  Apparently, this person is a self-imposed "employer police" taking on the role of deciding who should work here and who should not?

I am, more often than not, an easy-going person with regard to my writing and my work.  I developed a hard shell early in the game because editors are tough people to work with and none of it is personal.  However, here on the boards it IS personal and for the most part everyone has been wonderful.  However, the person in question has been subtle in their "stabs" to the extent others are defending them, I'm sure much to their delight.

However, the person in question has only just accepted their first position here, after two years of lurking.  The reasons for this are irrelevant to me, not being privy to their life (unlike them attempting to insinuate themselves in my life, I'm assuming for some vicarious reason that only they know).  Perhaps their life has been too busy to even look for assignments, perhaps they just didn't want to, perhaps they wanted to further hone their skills before accepting a position wanting to put their best foot forward.  I don't know but what I do know is the person judging me here (and "suggesting" to me how to perform my craft) is a technical writer while I am a creative writer.

My husband is a technical writer for a major defence contractor and has been for several years, having done this for the Air Force for several years prior to his retirement from said military.  Technical writing is NOTHING like creative writing and I would never propose to my husband that I know anything about that type of writing, in spite of his best efforts to tell me otherwise.  Though I scored decently on the technical writing test, I am NOT a technical writer and don't wish to be.  This desire to have the two types of writing to be similar is a common thought amongst technical writers and no matter what evidence they are confronted with, they still persist in maintaining this belief.  Technical writers like to believe they are also creative writers, when they are not.  I would never be able to edit my husband's writing as it would all look like Greek to me and when my husband edits my writing prior to my sending it to an editor, he tries to change whole thoughts, thereby changing the "atmosphere" of the work.  All I ever wanted him to do what fix the "technical" part, i.e. grammer, punctuation, typos, etc. and he wanted me to make the articles "more technical", which is extremely common amongst technical writers as well.

To be a technical writer, one must have training.  To be a creative writer one must have talent. (This will probably come across as snobby and it might be, that's part of who I am and to do what I do, you need a big ego to handle all the turn-downs that are part of the life of being a freelance writer.  if I didn't have a big ego, I couldn't do what I do.)  I've often considered taking some courses in technical writing but opted to not do so as I find it incredibly boring, so props to anyone who can do that for you have my respect.

For the person in question to attempt to "guide" me with regard to my travel writing, well, that's just another attempt on their part to take a stab at my craft and how well I do it, hoping, I believe, to diminish me in the eyes of others and myself, and this I will not accept.

I made the original strong post because that's how strongly I feel about this.  I will acknowledge that 'stalker' is too strong a word but at the time, that's how I felt.  Unfortunately, when posting in the heat of the moment, one does not have the luxury of a thesaurus and dictionary, which I would normally have by my side as I write for the several magazines for which I have already written.  I have ceased responding to the person(s) on the "other post" and they persist in posting, none of which I read.  Perhaps "harassment" would be a more apt term in spite of the fact that, too, sounds harsh?

It would certainly be far too much to expect of this person to note they have created controversy via their posts and choice of wording, causing the hair on my back to rise in defence.  I am a newb here and am not familiar with the type of posting that is done here by the person in question, which seems to me to be judgemental and manipulative in a subtle way.  I have opted, instead to ignore them in the hopes they will just go away.  However, this seems to not be the case, as evidenced by further postings at 'the other post'. 

When the postings continue, which they probably will as this person seems to have me in their radar for whatever reason, to whom do I direct this?  When they continue to hijack any other posts I might make, or conversely have their "friends" hijack them, to whom do I discuss this with, as it seems to be an "anything goes" type atmosphere here. 

I am, and always have been, a professional and understand in a work environment you won't always get along with everyone with whom you work.  I also understand that there are people out there who just don't like you for whatever reason.  However, I also understand that for someone to act as unprofessionally as the person in question has acted, there is recourse and I, for one, am quick to use it for I WILL NOT be harassed in my work place when all I am trying to do is earn a living at my craft.  I can easily ignore the person in question and choose to do so, as they are someone I don't like for reasons that are my own.  I simply ask the same of them, both from them and their "friends".  They seem to have forgotten this is a work environment as I also forgot for a few moments in time. 

Henceforth, I choose to be the professional and I challenge the person in question to do the same.

<chuckling> perhaps no pun intended but you made me laugh - and after all laughter is the best medicine

Doreen

I always try to learn from even interaction I have. I think our attitude determines how we respond to reactions. One needs to recognize competition and learn from them. Freelancing by its very nature is competitive.

Freelancing is an extremely competitive environment, but I have always approached it in the manner that any assistance I can give someone in approaching that line of work I will do...

I refuse to speak ill of anyone that is making the earnest effort to succeed and still will attempt to cloak any criticisms in velvet.  I refuse to attempt to dissuade anyone from doing what I do.  I would never do to someone else that which has been done to me here as I believe in supporting those around me, not running them down.  There is already so much negativity in the world without my adding to it.

I learned from my interactions here that the neighborhood isn't nearly as friendly as I once thought and I will no longer be posting on here, simply applying for positions and going my merry way.  I will allow my good work to speak for me and will obtain success via my skills and not by denigrating those who I see as 'in competition' with me.

but to await the apology of the person who initially inflamed the situation to the extent to which it has risen.  I did nothing wrong to "make amends" for and will do nothing further.  The person to whom we are all referencing owes me a greater apology but that will not be forthcoming as that is not the type of person they are; bullies refuse to atone for their bad behavior to any degree, and they are usually as subtle as my bully has been.

As stated previously, I have learned that this neighborhood (meaning these boards) are no longer the safe haven I once thought they were and I will no longer be posting, preferring instead to send any questions, etc. directly to the owners of the site.  I have no room in my life for the negativity that runs amok on these boards and when others make excuses for the bad behavior of someone who wasn't even a provider until recently, well, that speaks volumes to me about the character of those who posted.

The only method I have in which to formulate judgements about my fellow providers and that is these boards.  When all I have as evidence is those defending the bad behavior of the person in question, that tells me this is the type of person you prefer to be as well.

I will not leave the workplace here as I have just as much right as the next person to offer my skills to employers.  I simply choose to not interact with what seems to be an increasingly negative group of posters.

Honey, the only one being unprofessional here is you.

I have read all of the posts back and forth over the last week and the only thing that is apparent is that you can't handle when someone disagrees with you.  If you want to work for yourself, you'll have to learn to take what is thrown at you and not expect mommy and daddy to come bail you out.

In this thread alone, not only have you accused someone of stalking you simply because they frequent the forums (for much longer than you have, by the way), you have also made accusations about their personal life...which you know nothing about except for what you see in their public profile.

Just like you make assumptions about "S", buyers will see what you have posted here and make assumptions about you - whether they're true or not.  Buyers pay attention to what goes on here...whether you'd like to admit it or not.  Luckily, I don't need writing services (because I married a writer) but if I did, I would not hire you because my assumption of you based on your posts here is that you will fight me every step of the way if I don't like something you wrote because you can't admit that you're wrong.

Am I wrong?  Probably.  But based on what I see here, as a buyer, I would rather not put myself in that predicament in the first place.

You need to step back and re-read what you have posted.  The more you keep this going, the uglier the picture you're painting of yourself gets.

- Danalyn

Before you complain about rates, read all 4 parts of the oDesk Insider Blog's Make More Money series.

If the above statement is not a racist remark to you, Nancy, I suggest you get a shrink. English (Austronesian Language Family) and Filipino (Tagalog) are the official languages of the country, while American uses the West Germanic language variation.

I'm very sorry about this, but since your arrival, I have not heard a single constructive thoughts from you, every time you write something, you write them to inflict mental anguish to those who were simply trying to help and you seems to have a habit of being feisty and will viciously attack any one who gets in your way, without pre-determining the consequences of your action.

As I have stated earlier $1.22 is higher than local minimum wage in the country, oDesk is a marketplace that caters to global economy, North American economy has nothing to do with it, unless one lives there.

Nancy don't you believe that calling someone a stalker rises to the level of inflammatory and in need of an apology? If you're a writer as you deign to call yourself your 'weak' comment about needing a thesaurus will fall on deaf ears since 'stalking' and 'harassment' are not the same and shouldn't need a thesaurus review from a professional writer.

Negativity/bad behavior is what you've been displaying in nearly every post I've seen from you.  (A) complaining about not being able to compete (B) getting all up in arms when someone tries to make a criticism of your profile (C) accusing someone of cheating on tests (D) accusing someone of stalking.  Those are the four things I have taken away from your postings here.  Just because you don't agree with someone doesn't give you the right to call them out - and granted while you stopped short of using their name the fact of the matter is you posted this is a public forum and anyone who followed any of your threads would *easily* be able to track back to the person you refer to. 

Not only that but then you accused them of getting 'friends' to back them up - are you not aware that the bulk of us are just like you - independent contractors from different parts of the world who don't know each other except for recognizing user names?

I would also point out to you that these boards are seen by both buyers and providers. I actually work here as both a buyer and provider and as pointed out by another buyer this morning I would also not hire you because I don't feel you're a team player, you would be less than cooperative if I didn't like something you wrote.  Remember, we also have no other way to judge you besides your postings here as you're a stranger to the bulk of us (other than clients you've worked for). 

I applaud your backbone and your willingness to speak out for yourself.  As a freelancer let's face it, we all have a fairly high dose of ego as this helps us stay working in a very competitive workplace.

Nancy, thou dost protest a little too much.  No-one suggested that you go elsewhere permanently what I saw was someone commenting that if you needed additional work that you were not getting on oDesk that you had other options for additional assignments.  The comment was not for you to 'leave' oDesk as you've insisted but rather a comment that encouraged you to explore other markets 'in addition' to your work here on oDesk.

There's an old saying I keep on my desk - unfortunately I don't always live by it but here it is none the less:

Be careful of the words you say, keep them soft and sweet; You never know from day to day which ones you'll have to eat.

-- Unknown

I have been following this thread and the others related to it for sometime now and lest I be seen as an "enemy", I just would like to share how I feel. I feel a bit disheartened by some of the posts. I am a Filipino, not really a native English  speaker but I somehow managed to get to the top 10% for the English sentence structure. I have taken the test on my own ( no help whatsoever from google, etc.) although I really cannot say that my English is perfect. When I started with oDesk, I actually charged buyers $1/ hour. Unfair as it may seem, people have to understand that here in the Philippines, $1/ hour can already get you near the minimum wage allowed by our government. Since what we earn here at oDesk is free from any mandatory deductions requird by our government, $1 per hour can be somewhat sufficient especially if you spend around 16 hours in fron of your computer. Aside from that, most of us Filipinos here in oDesk have a separate day job that sustains us.

I hope Nancy would understand why there have been some strong reactions in this thread and the others.

Rhonadale, 

I've lived in the US my entire life, and I know people who can't read and write English as well as you have in this post.  I think it's extremely arrogant of someone to discriminate based on location.

Personally, I prefer to discriminate based on what I can see and hear - if you act like an idiot, then you'll be treated like one.

But to assume that I am better than you just because of location, that would just make me look like the ass...and trust me, there are plenty of other ways I know I can make an ass of myself without having to pick on Filipino/Indian/Anyothercountrythanmine providers.

- Danalyn

Before you complain about rates, read all 4 parts of the oDesk Insider Blog's Make More Money series.

Danalyn,

I'm not sure where you are coming from but I'm actually lost between "Is she thinking I'm discriminating people?" and "She's actually expounding on what I have written". Like what I have mentioned in the other thread, I believe that no race is better than another. Each one has its strength, each one has its own weakness. I have American friends (and buyers) who correct me every now and then with my grammar and stuff. I also have Indian friends who are better in English than I am.

Enough said, I hope you get my point

...that comment was not intend for you, but to the author of the thread.

Regards

Whew! Thanks for clearing that one out.....never wanted to offend anyone anyway hehehehehe

pero, hintayin natin ang sagot niya at talagang duda akong patungkol sa iyo yun sinulat niya. Dahil wala akong makitang kayabangan sa sinulat mo.

Rhonadale,

I was basically agreeing with you, but I think it got lost in translation. 

What I meant was that I (myself) do not discriminate based on someone's location (like Nancy and many others here have) because there are people (adults) that live right next door to me with worse writing skills than my 8-yr-old niece...and even though the original post(s) upset you, you shouldn't worry about it because you have better writing skills than my next door neighbors.

Edit: oops, looks like Rodolfo beat me to it.  ;) 

- Danalyn

Before you complain about rates, read all 4 parts of the oDesk Insider Blog's Make More Money series.

Rhonda there is no need for you to feel threatened here. Your work history certainly speaks for itself and you'll do just fine doing what you're doing here on oDesk.

The feedback that you've received is perfect and the fact that you have a number of open jobs proves that you're doing a good job for your clients.

Everyone sets their own rates here - that's why it's called a marketplace.  Clearly anyone looking at your test scores or reading your well thought out posts here can see you have exemplary English skills.

Unfortunately, too often people post things in the forums without thinking of the ramifications of those posts and how they might make others feel.

Doreen

Any native English speaker who has worked with good translators has their English corrected. I was always arguing about correct usage with a very stubborn Polish translator who had only been using English for a few years ...he was very good and almost always (dammit) right. We had to argue on the whiteboard because his accent was incomprehensible, but he usually won the fine points of grammar arguments.

My Spanish skills are mediocre ... but I can read and write it better than many people in Arizona who have been speaking it all their lives: I studied, they didn't.

You obviously studied.