Do Anything, Watch Me Work, Slap Me In The Face


Job Description

I need someone to slap me in the face to help me achieve my goals.

More specifically, I want you to watch me work and keep me company via Skype and screen sharing. You DON'T need to understand anything that I do (I'm a software developer), and you don't even need to watch very closely. You just need to make sure I'm working, and to (virtually) slap me when I'm not.

Additionally, I'll have some goals set up (like spending 4 hours a day on Project X, or zero unread inbox messages, or something like that) and will give you tools to track them, and you'll need to keep an eye on whether I'm achieving them every day, congratulating me when I do and giving a timely slapping when I don't.

You will need to be online and on Skype call MOST of the time while I work (but not all of it; breaks are obviously fine), from about 1am GMT to maybe 9am GMT. You CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT during this time — kids, studying, working, whatever.

I will want to be on a Skype voice call with you, for occasional chatter, to feel that I'm being watched, to maybe say a thing or two about ongoing tasks, to report my progress towards my daily goals, and so that you can quickly remind me to get back to work. :-) We'll stay muted when we're not talking.

You obviously need excellent English skills and capability to verbally abuse your employer when he's not doing the work :-), and I probably prefer a female for this role.

So to reiterate, you:

* have an excellent English
* friendly and cheerful
* online, on a Skype call and watching my screen (perhaps downsized to a small window) most of the time 1am-9am GMT Mon-Fri; we can do Sat/Sun in addition to or instead of some weekdays
* watch me work and demand that I get back to work after breaks/distractions
* track whether I meet my daily goals, record that in a spreadsheet and give me a hell when I don't
* aside from that, do anything you want

I'll be paying $1/hour while you watch, and additionally $2 per day that I achieve all my goals. That's $10/day for a successful 8-hour work day that you spend however you like.

Please write BANANA at the start of your cover letter to filter out those who don't read the job postings.

Skills: english