1~2 Funny Sentences about Constipation

Closed - This job posting has been filled.

Job Description

Hi!

I'd like to make a doorhanger and need a phrase for that.

The content of it is a constipation, in a comical way. I will put an image about 'constipation (suffering) bear' in this pose below.

http://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/young-girl-with-constipation-diarrhea-high-res-stock-photography/138585410

I want to put some 'comical' phrase on the upper side of the bear, regarding of constipation. Something like 'don't bother me, I'm in the middle of something', or 'I hadn't be able to ~ for a week' kind of. Something funny, humorous, comical phrase. One or two short sentences would be sufficient, like the one I exampled.

When you apply, please answer me 3 things.

1. Why are you suitable for this work?
2. If I make it as a fixed price, how much do you have in mind?
3. How long would it take to finish this work?

Thank you!