Humor Writers

Showing 4 freelancers

Humor Writers

Showing 4 freelancers

  • AM - The Merchant of Words : For Words Worth Their Weight - NZ

    Don’t let the title mislead you. As the Merchant of Words, I’m not related to the Merchant of Venice. To be honest, Shakespeare never appealed to me. Neither did academics. Thus, I just about managed to complete my … more

    Don’t let the title mislead you. As the Merchant of Words, I’m not related to the Merchant of Venice. To be honest, Shakespeare never appealed to me. Neither did academics. Thus, I just about managed to complete my schooling – or let’s just say that my teachers got fed up of me. After all, I was an immense strain on their conscience. It couldn’t have been easy deciding where I deserved fractional marks for an answer i.e. a 0.3 here or a 0.6 there etc., could it? Suffice it to say that my academic success in school resembled a village after a Mongol raid. A few years later, I began working as a software developer. In that time, I learnt that I could create software for an accounting system. Considering that all I knew about accounting was the definition of debit and credit, it was an educational achievement on the job. I also learned how to travel to various parts of the city. An online job that taught me several offline things! Later, I found myself applying for an executive position to answer e-mail queries sent by Amazon.com’s customers. However, the powers that were thought I was a glutton for punishment. Therefore, they made me a Quality Editor instead. I handled the responses for the escalation e-mail queues. I also trained and audited e-mail responses for 15 executives. A relocation ended this brief but enlightening dalliance. My next assignment was as a back office executive in insurance processing. I processed transactions related to insurance cover. In some time, my supervisors realised that my innocent smiles (certainly not my good looks!) lay behind all their troubles. So they gave me charge of a team, of a process and of a client relationship too. From indexing scanned images of insurance claims related post to recovering money from at-fault third parties, my team did it all. Sadly, they also did me in… I finally turned to becoming a freelance content developer: writing about things I hadn’t heard of or seen, for clients I hadn’t ever seen (or ever would, for that matter!) at places I didn’t even know existed. After such an extensive background, can I really write? Well, in over 16 years of experience that is the only thing I’ve done. See how: • As a software developer, I WROTE computer programs and manuals • As a quality editor, I WROTE e-mails and responses • As an executive in back office processing, I WROTE manuals, desktop procedures and white papers • As a team leader, I WROTE policies, manuals, emails, white papers etc. • As a content developer, I WRITE articles, blogs, website content, product descriptions etc. So what’s common across: softWare – auditOr – data-entRy – team leaDer and writing Stuff fulltime? The answer is simple: All of them deal in WORDS…that express what needs to be done in the best way possible…  less

    creative-writing article-writing travel-writing humor-writing legal-writing content-writing blog-writing copywriting job-description-writing policy-writing editing synopsis-writing speech-writing proofreading data-entry 00 more less
    • $27.78 HOURLY RATE
    • 5.0
    • 1391 HOURS
    • INDIA
    • LAST ACTIVE
    • 3 PORTFOLIO ITEMS
    • 22 TESTS
  • Veteran writer, editor, columnist seeking online jobs.

    I am a native American speaker, raised and educated in the USA and American and British schools in Europe, with writing and editing skills for a range of writing categories including press releases, blogs, websites, manuals, brochures, labels and packaging … more

    I am a native American speaker, raised and educated in the USA and American and British schools in Europe, with writing and editing skills for a range of writing categories including press releases, blogs, websites, manuals, brochures, labels and packaging. Writing: I provide: 1. Press release writing, blog writing, creative writing. 2. Suitable text for the full range of business collaterals, with special skills in translating technical knowledge (business, marketing, IT, health, medicine, alternative health, etc.) and simplifying text for the daily reader. Editing and Translation: Even if a text has been translated, I edit the text for an American tone, clarity, and raise the level to a higher degree of professionalism. I am also an English trainer and can compose all types of English grammar tests and activities focused on specific language skills. I am open to online English tutorials for non-English speakers.  less

    copywriting blog-writing ghostwriting humor-writing ebook-writing grant-writing 00 more less
    • $7.78 HOURLY RATE
    • 4.9
    • 4286 HOURS
    • PHILIPPINES
    • LAST ACTIVE
    • 3 PORTFOLIO ITEMS
    • 4 TESTS
  • The Right Candidate for the Right Position

    Since joining oDesk, I have amassed a considerable amount of experience with positions ranging from writing, accounting, web research, original content, editing, so on and so forth. I type at a rate of 85 words per minute which lends to … more

    Since joining oDesk, I have amassed a considerable amount of experience with positions ranging from writing, accounting, web research, original content, editing, so on and so forth. I type at a rate of 85 words per minute which lends to efficiency and increased production in a variety of fields. I am looking to dedicate some time and resource to the right employer in need of highly skilled assistance. I have team training and supervisory experience in the customer service field, as well as the IT field. While I am very highly self-motivated, my employers will find that I am a truly dedicated team player and I consistently bring forth an attitude of "When the Company succeeds, I succeed." I greatly look forward to your correspondence and would like to thank you in advance for your consideration. Have a fantastic day! ~David Champion (956) 536 - 7450  less

    internet-research content-writing blog-writing article-writing creative-writing humor-writing essay-writing 00 more less
    • $16.67 HOURLY RATE
    • 5.0
    • 1570 HOURS
    • UNITED STATES
    • LAST ACTIVE
    • 0 PORTFOLIO ITEMS
    • 7 TESTS
  • Data Entry, Accounting,Web Research, Bidder,Transcriber, Translator,

    I work on a franchise retail/service business company over the past 5 years up to present. Creates Financial transaction and Financial report and other accounting aspect to ensure accuracy and financial stability. Knowledgeable in MS Office and QuickBooks. You … more

    I work on a franchise retail/service business company over the past 5 years up to present. Creates Financial transaction and Financial report and other accounting aspect to ensure accuracy and financial stability. Knowledgeable in MS Office and QuickBooks. You can count me on a highly confidential issue. Attention to details is my expertise. Would love to be part of your team.  less

    data-entry microsoft-excel microsoft-powerpoint article-submission software-testing translation data-encoding article-writing photo-editing windows-movie-maker creative-writing seo-keyword-research humor-writing 00 more less
    • $5.56 HOURLY RATE
    • 4.8
    • 2230 HOURS
    • PHILIPPINES
    • LAST ACTIVE
    • 5 PORTFOLIO ITEMS
    • 5 TESTS
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